Hello, fellow bookcreature!
In this extraordinary world of writing, certain types of authors walk among us and today I'm going to share a few of them with you. In the eyes of humanity, they might look scary and terrifying but in reality, they are kinda... funny. What did you expect? That we are a bunch of ordinary people like the rest of you? Of course not!
But let's leave the chit-chat and let's go and meet some of those. If you find yourself identifying with one or perhaps maybe more, then my dear I have some news for you, You are one of us.
The Hermit.
People like him usually need absolute silence to work on a project. If you are brave enough to get close and breath, they are going to turn their desk upside-down, start screaming in their mother tongue, put in some other words that they heard from other languages here and there and may come up with some dead ones from their reincarnations. And of course, all of these are going to happen only inside their minds because of something you might didn't know. It's illegal, according to social standards, to use whatever you write and make it into action.
Eventually, they are going to glare at you with absolute belittlement, degradation and the face of your existential dismissal. Then they are going to grab their belongings and leave just to find the nearest soundproof corner, to dedicate their next chapter that comes with the title "Torment, torturing and other ways to kill" to you.
The Multitasker.
At some point in our life, all of us had this creature - because you cannot say that this thing is human -, who did everything in his life. He had fifteen different hobbies and tasks when by the end of the day, he would always complain that they weren't enough and he is bored. You, on the other hand, would be in this state that you would want to smack his face with a sack of potatoes because you knew already that if your parents ever met him, they would have more reasons to call you lazy.
So, this kind of person exists in the world of writing. If you ever ask him about his progress on a book, he would give you answers such as "Which one?", "It depends on which you are referring to", "Do you remember the title?", "I already started three or four since the last time we've spoken (possibly was last week) so let me fill you in" and plenty more like these. In this case, you will have the urge to find the nearest heavy item and smash his head also with it. Then you will leave the shop you went out for coffee, with a heroic face and the hope that the jury will understand your situation and not plead you guilty.
Hermione's bag from "The Deathly Hallows".
If you don't get the reference then you cannot understand the envy and struggle a writer-reader dealt with this item.
This author is the one that always carries a bag around with the "bare minimum" of what he might need. Can you see the irony here? No? Ok, then let's see what those items might be.
At least two books to swap in case he gets bored, a notebook with the basics of his current work (plot, character profiles, mood boards, etc), another notebook with the first draft of his book and perhaps one more for ideas, prompts and scenes he wrote during a random time of the day. Three pens (that probably he is going to lose simultaneously), an electronic device with plenty of e-books which normally isn't fully charged, headphones, a charger, a bag with the new book that he just bought; old receipts from bookstores, a list of books he wants to buy, pieces of papers with scenes and quotes and so on.
If you have this type as your friend, then you have nothing to fear. In case you come up with an amazing idea for the project you've stuck with for the past three years, he will be there to provide you with his last pen and the nearest paperlike object, so you will write whatever is that you have in mind. You can always count on him in times of need.
The Collector.
The best customer of every stationery store. If you ever ask them: "What would you like to get you for your birthday/ Christmas/ your wedding?" his responses will be something like "A new notebook because I'm running out," even though he already has a pile of empty ones at home. He would ask you for a specific edition of a book, that is almost out of stock and he would probably have another edition of it, on the upper shelf of his bookcase, under a cloud of dust.
He is the one who is going to the supermarket to buy toilet paper but when you reach the tills, you will find in the cart a new pack of glitter pens that glow in the dark and possibly making coffee as well. He will go out to buy some crisps and he will come back with a new bookmark made of gold and it will be the "Sorcerer's Stone" in the middle surrounded by ocean pearls. Obviously, there is going to be something he forgot to take. The bloody pack of crisps! To write his book he uses a quill made from phoenix feathers and inks coming directly from Kraken itself.
Of course, he is the same person who when he finds an abandoned book on the street or a box full of them next to the garbage, he'll pick it up with no second thoughts. Even if it's not in a language he doesn't know how to read or a subject he is not interested in.
If he is your friend then you need to always remember the following: When you visit him, never touch anything otherwise he is not going to need the full moon to transform into a werewolf or something similar. If you ever consider to buy him something, make sure you have enough money to support the idea or to get a bit extra-creative, because he will appreciate the idea and effort you put into it. And at last but not least, it doesn't matter if he sleeps and eats on piles of books and stationery, they are never, ever, ever, ever going to be enough.
The artistic soul.
It sounds cute, isn't it? It is completely normal for an author to be creative in other aspects but there is always another side of this story as well. Much darker or boldly let's say.
This is the author who wants everything he owns to have a handmade touch. Something unique that came either from their own hands or from a friend who has artistic abilities. He is the one who is going to take his time and is willing to pay enough to find or make the things he needs, just because he wants them to be unique. He is very similar to "The Collector'' but he will not buy something very often while he can make it or support a fellow artist to do so. For example, he will buy a cheap folder from a local store and he will transform it into something different with colourful papers, wood sticks from his garden and of course a lot of glue and paint. He will do this to put his notes and pages, just because he doesn't want to buy a simple notebook. Even in this case, it would be customized.
This is the first part of our five funny types of writers you will find lurking in the shadows or might know already. Maybe some of them (or all of them) are hidden inside you. Do you think it is too much? My lovely reader, you will be surprised by how much can someone get identified with more than one of these categories. I know that you read only a few things related to the writing aspect but I can assure you that everything is linked to a reaction of absolute lunacy and creativity.
I hope I made you laugh and you stared at your friend and said "Oh, that's you!". If you want to share your story or have ideas for more funny people, don't hesitate and leave a comment here or message me personally in my email. Which one of these made you feel more related? If you think that they are more than three, then we could be best buddies.
Take care of yourself and see you soon... Alexa
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